You become what you say you are

The title of this post is a concept I’ve been harping on about in my personal, day to day life. Before I go any further I will say that I self identify as a hypocrite– my disclosure of this will make sense soon. 

I’m hypocritical when it comes to giving versus receiving advice, and I have been from a young age. I’m good at twisting my friends and family’s woes into a positive light, usually seeking out the optimistic point of view. This is something one does as an outsider looking in on a matter that neglects to concern them. BUT this is growth, you guys! I’m calling myself on my bull-sh*t because when it comes down to addressing my own mishaps, I lack such optimism. 

I tend to pop open an umbrella to buffer other people’s rainfall (whether they’d like me to or not), and I tend to throw out my own umbrella when I need it most. How’s that for a painted picture?

Recently my boyfriend, Jakob and I were having a conversation, actually multiple, and he kept labeling himself in various ways that I believed had negative connotations. Noticing this, I interrupted him.

“You are what you label yourself as,” I said. “You become what you say you are.”

Okay, I didn’t actually say it as eloquently as I write it out here, now that I have reflected and developed this idea in my brain further. But I did say something along those lines and I wholeheartedly stand behind them. Maybe it’s because I’ve been listening to motivational podcasts recently and I’m just regurgitating what I’ve learned there. Regardless, it feels like a positive step into the mindfulness realm, and for that reason I’ve been continuing to explore this concept in my own life. 

I find myself gravitating toward labels as much as Jakob does, as you do, as much as anyone does. I think we do because they act as a synopsis of who we are, what we do or what we care about. However, nine times out of ten these labels carry a large amount of negative weight that can hold us back.

If you tell yourself you aren’t “xyz” things, you won’t believe you are that thing, could be that thing, and may never try to become it. Obviously if it’s something you don’t care about becoming, this is less applicable to you. But, if you wish to change a specific part of who you are, you have got to stop putting yourself in a box of what you aren’t, and focus your efforts on what you can do to change.

A label I struggled to disassociate with this past year was not being a runner. I never felt like the “runner” label suited me even when I started running consistently, so I continued to tell myself I wasn't.

I’ve only recently started to identify as a runner, and I think that has less to do with running a marathon (still a flex) and more so because I’ve thrown myself more into the world of running by befriending other runners and just overall chatting about it more. In this case, this new label has benefited me in a positive manner, as it has pushed me to grow as an athlete. 

My goal going forward, and it should probably be yours too, is to only accept labels that don't limit you or your beliefs. 

Now you may be thinking, “Didn’t you just label yourself as a hypocrite at the beginning of this blog? That label seems awfully limiting.” 

And you would be correct, so let me address that. 

While I have come to the realization that this label is limiting, I still haven’t been actively trying to escape my hypocritical ways– yikes! 

But I have analyzed how they affect me and understand that there are improvements to be had by releasing myself from this label. So I intend to. If you’re in the same boat, accompanied by a limiting label of your own, let’s start together.

It doesn’t have to be a drastic new beginning. The first step can be identifying when you feel most constricted by the label. What that’s looked like for me, is realizing when I’m spurting out a hypocritical statement or action, understanding it as such, then pausing and pivoting. An example of this could be me crying over an incident that I told someone else to forgive as a blessing in disguise. Ultimately, this has resulted in fewer “woe is me” vibes and more of a “that sucks, let’s fix it” approach.

I will admit it is so incredibly easy to yammer on about this practice and much, much harder to put into play. Nonetheless, it’s a step in the right direction and I’m ready to walk.

Are you?