I miss writing (and other life updates)
I miss writing. I miss the high of finishing an article that sells my secrets and speaks my truth.
I want to tell you everything and nothing. Nothing in my life is really of substance to you. And yet, you're here, reading this. I got to you somehow, and I'm happy you're here.
Now, I’ll break down my recent life highlights as my stream of consciousness grants them to me.
Jakob and I adopted a rescue puppy. Her name is Pogi. It’s been so fun, but we're also miserable half the time because we're tired, overwhelmed and exhausted. Oh, and sleep deprived! So really, we're just drained. I hope you get my point. Also, it turns out I am, or I guess was, a dog sexist.
Dogs are boys, and the ones that aren't are weird or cats. However, now that I've parented a girl dog for two weeks I can say that she's perfect (except when she's not) and just as stinky as a boy dog. Plus, I can dress her in pink and it won't create gender confusion for any onlookers. All positives so far.
I'm sometimes bored at my job. I've been writing for it, which has mildly filled my journalistic itch. But there's just nothing like ranting on a keyboard for probably only my mom to read– this feeling is pure magic. Thanks, Mom.
I feel sad a lot of the time. One of my New Year's resolutions was to start therapy because I think it will help. It's now the start of March and I haven't made any effort to get in contact. Jakob and I learned that we can each get six free therapy sessions through his work, which I think will be good for both of us. Scheduled sessions are still pending.
Over the past month, I've filmed and edited my project “Fast February”– running at least one mile everyday in February and posting about the journey. It's been fun and rewarding overall. I'm proud of the little videos; they're short snapshot memories of my daily life that are fun to relive. Jakob calls it romanticizing simple everyday tasks. Because yes, running is something I would normally just do, but it's been fun crediting myself with doing it all month long.
It also challenged my discipline. That was probably the hardest part. It’s tiring to set aside time everyday to not only go run and film it (which does take effort), but then to also sit down and edit it. It all takes time. Also, I'm just not a ray of sunshine everyday. But being glum just doesn't have the same appeal– it doesn't sell. And what's the internet without selling yourself, right?
I joined a book club at work. We're reading Jane Eyre. I've never read it. I also didn't read all of the assigned chapters before the first meeting. A lot got spoiled. I guess that's my own fault, though.
Have you read Jane Eyre, dear reader? It was presented to me as a romance novel, but also an anti-romance. The main character, Jane, of course, is mad and apparently stays mad throughout the book. She also kind of has an S&M fetish with the mistreatment she receives? Also, she's 10 at the start. Yeah, it's jam-packed full to say the least. But I don't actually know all that for myself yet. I'm only on chapter four.
My scalp is dry and I have dandruff recently. I washed my hair with apple cider vinegar because AI Google told me to. My hair still smells. I also still have flakes.
I had my Mirena IUD replaced with a copper one in January. It hurt like a bitch, and I'm not one. What I'm saying: it was way worse than my first experience, more intense than a "little pinch" and the 200mg ibuprofen I was so generously offered did absolutely nothing. Go women! But my boobs don't swell and ache every other day and my acne has cleared up noticeably.
The Planned Parenthood doctor tried to gaslight me that these issues I was experiencing weren't caused by the hormones in the tiny piece of plastic placed strategically in my uterus. I cried when I got home. But I would still go back because their services were smooth (although I didn't particularly love any of the people I interacted with), efficient (I was able to schedule my appointment within a week's time) and discrete (until I blogged about it).
I used Chat GPT to clean up an email I sent at work. It changed my verbiage from "I'm sure he would" to "he would likely be available to." Why didn't I think of that first? I guess that's what mathematicians thought when they first used the calculator for support. That's at least what Jakob compares the weariness around the software to. I personally think it's more powerful than that because AI seems to vastly supersede the expertise of a calculator. We haven't talked about it again. I still think about it.
The word "interesting" is overused. By me, by you, by everyone. There was a movie I remember watching years ago that referenced this*. A character said something along the lines of it not being a real descriptor and to use a different word that actually meant something. I still use the word “interesting” to no avail, but I agree it means closer to nothing than anything else. Same with "cool."
A word I do love? Oscillate. Other than how hard it is to spell (I thought it was “asolate”), there’s just something special about it. The first definition that comes up for it, if you were to Google, is “move or swing back and forth at a regular speed” and “a pendulum oscillates about its lowest point.” But that’s kind of boring, right? Funnily enough I prefer the physics definition: “vary in magnitude or position in a regular manner around a central point.”
I just like it, I don’t know why.
*I was able to find the referenced movie: Captain Fantastic.
